Posts tagged Disney

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I have never wanted anything so badly as a Disney villains rendition of

The Cell Block Tango


You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like, Alice. Alice, she liked to grow. No, not grow. Shrink. So I’m playing crocket this one day and I’m real irritated and I’m looking for a little bit of sympathy. And there’s Alice, playing along, growing up and then shrinking again. So I said to her I said, girl, if you shrink or grow one more time… sigh and she did. So, I yelled to my guards and told them to come right away. And off with her head.


I met Kuzco the Emperor when he was about two years old. And I practically raised him so we lived in the palace together. He’d go to work, I’d do his job, I’d fix his messes and he’d have dinner. Then I found out: on my peak, he told me. On my peak, my ass. Not only was he firing me, oh no. He was kicking me out. Just your average dictator, you know. So that night, I invited him to dinner and I fixed him a drink, in his honor. You know, some guys just can’t hold their arsenic.


Now I’m standing in the tower, making hazel-nut soup soup or dinner. In storms my daughter’s boyfriend in some sort of rage. “You’ve been holding Rapunzel captive!” he said. He was crazy and he kept on yelling: “You’ve been holding her captive!” And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.


-Bear…bear bear bear bear bear. BEAR! GRROOWWWLLLL!! Bear bear bear bear bear bear. Beaaaarrr. Bear. Bear. Bear bear BEAR bear bear bear! …bear!-

yeah but did you do it? 

Uh-uh! Not guilty!


My step-daughter Snow White and I lived in the castle together and my magic mirror lived there with us. As my morning work-out I did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row: One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, flip flops, one right after the other. Well, this one morning I realized that the steps were dirty so I told Snow White to clean them. I go to my mirror, ask him who is the fairest and he shows Snow White, doing number 17: the spread eagle! Well, I was in such I state of shock, I completely blacked out, I can’t remember a thing. It wasn’t until later when the dwarfs were chasing me through the forest I that I even knew she was dead!


I loved Cindy’s father more than I could possibly say. He was a real rich guy, a count. But he was always with his daughter and while in the town, he bought her a puppy, a horse, lots of dresses and even mice. I guess you can say we broke up because of money issues: He saw himself as wealthy and I saw myself as a widow.

Filed under Oh my God oh my God Disney Chicago the cell block tango

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So I had no voice at work today, and since I work at the Disney Store


I had a little note pad, in which I wrote, “Can’t speak, Ursula the Sea Witch stole my voice! But I’m happy to assist you!”And a little girl came up to me, read my notepad, grabbed my hand, and dragged me all around the store,asking random guys if they’d like to be my “true love” so I can get my voice back and stay human.…it was the most adorable, awkward situation I had ever been in. Everyone else got a kick out of my reference too.

Too cute not to reblog. XD

(Source: disney-garden, via margaretapproves)

Filed under Awwww Little kids are perfect Disney